Jason Bateman

So it starts on Jan 16th. I get a message from a guy online that my friends think looks like Jason Bateman. That of course isn't his real name so let's just call him JB for the time being.

He seems sweet. Tall, good looking, called me cutie twice in one email. Why do men like to call women cutie? As far as pet names go, that is one of my least favorites. He gives me his number and real email address. OK cool. I send him an email back from my real email address and give him my cell number.

JB sends me a text right away. We banter back and forth and he calls me later that night. I like him so far. Thursday I have to babysit and he thinks its great that I am good with kids. We talk after the kids go to bed. He is a die hard Bengals fan and is mean to me. I am from Pittsburgh so you can only imagine where this is going. Whatever. Other than that we had a great conversation. I complain to one of my girl friends and she states this is the third grade equivalent of throwing stuff at you. It means he likes you.

We talk all weekend and agree to meet for dinner on Tuesday. He tells me that he wants to take me out on a dinner date. Awesome. So it's Monday afternoon and I haven't heard from him since Sunday night. I send JB a text asking him if we are still on. He replies with a hardy you bet we are and asks me what kind of food I like and what part of town I live in again. I tell him I'll eat just about anything, not super fond of Indian food, and I tell him again what part of town I live in. We agree on a time, 7:30 pm, but still haven't picked a place yet.

It's now Tuesday. Date day. I don't hear from JB all day. At quarter till 5 I send him a message asking him if he was going to tell me where we were going for dinner or did I have to guess. Nothing. At 5:40 I call and leave him a voice mail. Still nothing. Whatever Jerkface. I ended up grabbing Outback with my mom and a girl friend. All in all I had a much better night. I was able to eat exactly what I wanted and do it while watching TV in my sweats.

I was hoping that he would call so that I could ignore his lame excuses for what hadn't happened but oh well. Once again I get to experience the sweet satisfaction I get out of deleting a number from my cell phone. I don't understand men; I don't want to. I'm pretty sure I'm happier not knowing.